woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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