He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
