any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
