when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
