You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
