If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
