My girlfriend figured out who you are.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
