all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
