talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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