Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
