Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
