im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
birth control should be required to get into college
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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