so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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