why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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