I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Congratulations! We have a period
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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