Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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