Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize