don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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