i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
