if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
