Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
