Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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