Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
