Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
My liver just had a heart attack.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
