I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
