im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
