Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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