If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
