your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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