are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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