Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
