im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize