Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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