But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
