alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
