I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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