kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The air was thick with penises
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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