I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
