woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
