I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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