I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He shit in the fireplace
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