...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
