He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
