the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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