My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
