She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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