Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
