That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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