pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
