all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
