she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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