I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
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Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
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Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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