im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
