so explain again why im purple
no
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You were trust falling into bushes
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
