theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
