nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
