I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
