Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize