is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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