I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
