I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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